This one's for You

Well the time has come again, as it always does, unwelcome and without invitation. This ones for you fellas. Consider this little anecdote as a little piece of advice for whatever womanly relationships may be in your future. I'm talking about the little  "time of the month" as women's health magazines like to say, trying to make it sound all cute and innocent. Let's get this straight. Its not. It's not cute at all and it sure as heck isn't little. We're talking a week long biological pulverization on your own body, by your own body, without your consent. Oh and the way it comes is like having your boss show up to you place on the weekend, its awkward and unexpected.

The realization that this biological tornado is ready to whip through your body once again is a slow one, at least for me. It's starts after I've shoveled 5 chocolate bars into my face at work before 10am. (I blame this on all the office mommies who decided to steal their kids Halloween candy and force it upon us) Ahh you're here. Before I know it, I'm on a hormone induced roller coaster of emotions. Everything is emotional. And I mean EVERYTHING. The whole world is conspiring against me, and its not my fault, and oh my goodness  if you even look at me right now, I. will. cut. you. It can get pretty extreme.

What then is the remedy, you ask. If you're thinking buckets of ice-cream novelties and romantic chick flicks, try it. I dare you. That stuffs for the faint of heart and light of period. No, what I'm talking about is hour-long marathons of Ultimate Ninja Warrior and fried chocolate things. I don't even know what type of chocolate things. Just anything, bring it. There's a scene in the movie "No Strings Attached" where Ashton Kutcher, brings a pmsing Natalie Portman  a box of cupcakes and a CD of songs along the lines of Leona Lewis-Bleeding Love. Cute. Bring the cupcakes. Heck, bring the Leona Lewis CD.  I could use a good cry. But for your own welfare, drop the goods and leave. Trust me.

 As ridiculous as it is, one thing's for sure, despite the ups and downs of this biological thrill ride you realize how fabulous this female body really is. With the back-aches, the cramps, and the sheer inconvenience of it all, there comes a certain strength to deal with other things in life (like you- our periodless friends of the world.) In all seriousness, I do believe a woman's strength is unparalleled.  It's different from a mans strength in that's less about doing and more about being. About enduring. And it probably has something to do with this monthly event and maybe bringing forth life out of your insides. Anyway, at the end of it all you realize that indeed you are fabulous, you're strong. Its several days after the chocolate, spicy, Ultimate Ninja cravings and the world is all right again. Everything makes emotional sense and you've kicked this thing in the pants (till next month.) That, or you're 65 years old, kicking it on a skateboard, with no periods attached. Why? Because you're fabulous.

So that's it in a nutshell.

D.

pms. I hope that's me when I'm old. Straight chilling.